We've all heard it before. Follow your passion. Love What You Do and Do What You Love.
Who wouldn't want that?
There are three main attractors for everything in life: Heart, Mind and Soul. When we follow our passion, we need to remember to engage all three and listen to them, or we will increase our chances of failure.
Heart
We all do it. We follow our hearts. We can't help it. We fall in love and once in love, so many things lose clarity. Reason is the first to go. We discount the value of our inner voice questioning our decision, and we focus on the joy our heart choice will bring.
Mind
When we leave our decisions and choices to the mind, however, and ignore all else, we can caught in either a spiral of uncertainty over the right choice or a dogged determination to make something work that has very little if any life left in it. We press on because we know we are right.
Soul
Of the three motivational forces, the soul may be the most difficult to discern. How do we know when our soul is calling us? It may feel like the heart is doing the pulling or pushing, but a call to the soul can take us to places our heart may not think of going.
Putting all Three in Play
It is a rare occasion when all three are in synch, when the heart's choice makes sense to the mind and fills the soul as well. But when that happens, it can be a force greater than any other.
But what if the forces are not in agreement?
In our Education for mInistry class, we learned a process for dealing with those problems that put us at odds with our own wants, needs and callings. It is a process of internal conflict resolution known as Theological Reflection (TR for short), but the topic or problem doesn't need to be theological for it to work.
The main requirement, though, is that you do this in the company of others. That is the key to finding your way through any situation, because it brings other voices into the conversation, allowing us to hear our own voice more clearly.
When we are challenged, we take one of two paths. Either we stand and fight, or we shut down and become quiet. Theological Reflection gives us an alternative path, to rethink our position by going down a different path to find a new way of approaching the problem.
How it Works
We begin with our statement of the conflict. In this case, we have the three forces in opposition to each other and we don;t know what to do.
Each person in the group (from 6 to 12) then tries to come up with a metaphor that describes the type of conflict. An example might be, "I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place," or "I'm like a dog chasing his own tail," or "I feel trapped in a maze."
Now here comes the twist. The group picks which metaphor they want to explore more deeply, leaving the original problem or conflict behind.
Why do they do that?
Because we get stuck on the details of one or more aspects of the real issue when we try to be objective. We find ourselves digging in and arming ourselves for battle to defend our cause. But when we change the picture, we are more open to hear a variety of perspectives.
Don't worry, we will come back to the problem at hand, but for now, we are exploring.
We then look for examples of this type of conflict (the metaphor) in the world today. Is it like looking for peace in the Middle East for example? Or perhaps it is like the Supreme court decisions of the past week.
We do the same "reflection" on the metaphor with our own personal beliefs, our history and our traditions, until we have gained some insight into one or more clues to how this type of conflict can be dealt with in our own hearts, minds and souls.
The Final Step
We end the process with a simple question. What did you learn from this and what will you do differently going forward.
Why it Works
The reason this approach works and works well is mutual respect. All the members of the group listen without judgment. We offer our perspectives as personal statements, rather than as general ones. When we do that, we are heard, and we hear others.
The beauty of the process is it becomes second nature. After we do this a few times, we learn that we can simulate the other voices in our heads when we are facing a decision alone. And we can quickly go through the steps, shifting from emotion to reason to spiritual engagement without over valuing one over the others.
Where to Learn More
I learned about TRs in a four year course called Education for Ministry. I am currently a mentor of an ongoing class that runs from September through June each year. It is a four year program of study and discussion, the curriculum for which is created by The University of the South at Sewanee in Tennessee.
But Theological Reflection is a process that is well known in theological circles. Yes, it has its roots in theology, but it is a tool for all to use and it is a must for those dealing with issues that touch the heart, challenge the mind, and move the soul.
So, when you start a business, make a change in your life, or find yourself at odds, think about aligning your three motivational forces, heart, mind and soul, and see where it takes y ou. I am sure it will be one amazing ride.