Shut Up and Say Something (or How Do You Know When They Get It?)

One of the biggest challenges we all have in telling our business or personal story is to know when to stop talking.

[Pause]

In written form, it is hard to represent that very important moment of silence that helps the reader absorb what is being said.

[Longer Pause]

What we tend to do, instead is find a way to repeat or supplement the message. 

[Short Pause] 

In other words, we give examples, or we digress. 

[Very Short Pause] 

But when we get together with friends and share our stories, we stop talking when we see the other person's expression change.  And that change tells us if they get it or not.

[Think about that for a moment] 

In the digital age, we have become crazed about trying to determine if someone is getting the message.  We ask people to Like us and Tweet us and reply to surveys, fill out forms.  Is any of that effective?

In the end, people get the message when they take action.  If they buy the product, make an appointment, call your office, come up and talk to you after your talk, or make a referral you know they get it.

So, what's the message in all this?

First, we need to give enough information to capture the attention and interest of the receiver.

Then, we need to shut up and listen. 

That pause says something very important - You care what they have to say. 

Since it is much easier to do that in person, then offer to do that, or at least make the call. 

 [Pause]

So, what do you think?

Storytelling Comes of Age (Again)

​Petroglyphs of Tassili N Ajjer, Algeria

​We've come a long way from the dawn of man, when images were painted on stone to tell a story, but what has changed?

​Today's walls are digital and despite generations of predominance of the written word, pictures are back.  For many, they are once again the main way we convey meaning.

​While I remain a devoted fan of writing stories, I find myself spending most of my time listening to the stories of others and capturing them as digital portraits, mostly of the moving variety.

One of the hardest things for a writer is to create the voice of the character, that emotion and presence in the mind's ear that breathes life into the story.  Hearing a real voice allows that emotion to flow freely, if the speaker is able to let down his guard and be true to himself.

This is especially difficult in front of an audience or a camera.  It takes courage and self confidence, not to mention a sense of humor.  Why?  Vulnerability can easily lead to embarrassment.  We tend to say things when we are comfortable that we might not say if we were to script it out and prepare ahead of time.​

Ever since I began speaking to groups about using their personal stories to help them in interviews and on sales calls, people have been sending me clips from blogs, journals and other publications about storytelling.  Everybody seems to be talking about it, and that is encouraging for us storytellers who believe there is nothing more compelling, if it is done well. 

So, how do you tell your story well?

Here are three tips that work for me.​

FOCUS - ​Avoid the distractions within your own mind.  Our brains are complex and efficient devices, but they are also ego-driven.  They race ahead to look for things we may want to say, and at the same time, they replay what we just said looking for things we missed or opportunities to jump in with related and unrelated events we could mention.  Turn off your listening device and keep going in the direction you chose.

​KEEP YOURSELF IN THE STORY - The difference between gossip and storytelling is the main character.  The story should reveal something about you that gives the listener a reason to stay engaged.  That doesn't mean you need to divulge family secrets or confess your crimes.  What it means is be the character in your own story and it will be more interesting to you and the audience.

GIVE THE LISTENER SOMETHING TO DO​ - This is the key to success in telling any story.  Keep it short and you will stay in control of the conversation.  In other words, leave the listener wanting more.  You can finish your point, but it should be on a note that leads the listener to inquire, "And then what happened?" or "What did you do?"

Whether you are interviewing for a job or explaining the value of your product to a new prospect, the stories you tell will be remembered more than the facts and figures you toss around.  As we say, Facts Tell, Stories Sell.

​Happy storytelling!